'Tis Almost St. Patty's Day!

Ohhhhh, I may not come from Ireland.
My name is not O'Leary.
But tomorrow I'll be wearin' green.
And drinkin' lots of beery!

Yes, it's that time of year again. Time to splurge on a six-pack of Heineken (because it has a geen label and comes in a green bottle), wear my green underoos, and dye my hair green.
No. Wait. I dyed my hair green once already and it didn't turn out well.
I was in third grade and still had a full crop of blonde hair on my wee head. I asked my mom to dye my hair green for St. Partick's Day. For reasons known but to her, she agreed! She coated my hair with green food coloring and sent me on my way to Walnut Hill Elementary decked out in bright green hair, my favorite orange jacket, and blue jeans. I must have looked like a walking popsicle.
When I got to the playground, all the kids gathered around to ooh and ahh over my daring 'do. Too soon, the bell rang to signal the start of classes. My five minutes of fame were over. We lined up in an orderly fashion and paraded into the building.
I hadn't gone very far before one of the teachers took me by the arm and led me unceremoniously to the principal's office. I don't recall exactly what the principal said but it must have been something like this: "Young man, you march right back home and don't come back until your hair is its natural color. And no more funny business!"
Uh oh. That was the first time I'd ever been in trouble and I thought being sent home was pretty severe punishment for a first time offense!
I wish I could end this story with an accurate description of what happened next. But I can't. I don't remember! You can't simply wash green food coloring out of your hair can you? I know I didn't stay home until my hair grew long enough to cut all the green parts off. I imagine my scalp was green too! Unfortunately, I no longer have enough hair to repeat the process - for scientific purposes. Besides, the principal already warned me, "No more funny business!"