How's that again?

I don't speak Spanish so I don't have a clue when it comes to understanding my kitchen-mates when they talk to each other. But if I were to translate what they are saying based on the volume, gestures and expressions on their faces, it would be something like this:

Chef Marco: YOU SON OF A WORTHLESS DOG! I TOLD YOU TO PUT THE CRACKER ON TOP OF THE PATE' BUT YOU PUT THE PATE' ON TOP OF THE CRACKER. NOW THE PATE' IS RUINED AND I AM RUINED AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE RUINED!"

Ramon: YOU TOLD ME TO PATE' THE CRACKERS WHICH OBVIOUSLY MEANS PUT THE PATE' ON TOP OF THE CRACKERS. AND I RESENT BEING CALLED THE SON OF A WORTHLESS DOG. YOU ARE THE WORTHLESS DOG AND I HOPE THE OTHER WORTHLESS DOGS RAISE THEIR LEGS AT YOU!"

Chef Marco: HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT OTHER DOGS SHOULD RAISE THEIR LEGS AT ME! DO YOU THINK THAT I LOOK LIKE A FIRE HYDRANDT? HA HA HA HA HA!

Ramon: HA HA HA HA HA.

Chef Marco: NOW GET BACK TO WORK AND BE SURE TO PUT THE CRACKERS ON TOP OF THE PATE' THIS TIME OR I WILL TAKE YOUR SISTER OUT TO MY PICKUP AND TIE HER TO THE BUMPER. HA HA HA HA.

Ramon: IF YOU INSIST ON PUTTING THE CRACKERS ON TOP OF THE PATE' I WILL DO IT BUT I THINK THE PATE' WOULD LOOK BETTER ON TOP OF THE CRACKERS AND YOU HAD BETTER LEAVE MY SISTER OUT OF THIS OR I WILL TAKE YOUR MOTHER TO MY RANCHO AND MAKE HER COOK FOR ME! HA HA HA HA

Chef Marco: YOU BETTER WATCH WHAT YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT MY MOTHER. AT LEAST MY MOTHER DIDN'T RAISE A WORTHLESS DOG FOR A SON!

Ramon: YOU CALL ME A WORHTLESS DOG ONE MORE TIME AND I WILL...

Chef Marco: WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD THAT THOUGHT. I HAVE TO TAKE THE FISH-CAKES OUT OF THE OVEN.