ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS!!

I have a solution to high oil prices: Let's invade Venezuela.

• Venezuela is the 3rd largest supplier to the U.S. but their president, Hugo Chavez, doesn't like us very much. (That means he's an evil dictator who shelters terrorists and plans to develop WMD's for a preemptive strike against Israel, or Galveston)
• Venezuelans are paying only 12 cents a gallon for their gasoline. (Is that fair?... I don't THINK so!)
• It's closer than Iran. (Convenient!)
• They don't need the oil as much as we do. (They're poor and they live where it's always warm!)
• God wants us to establish a "foothold for democracy" in South America. (Pat Robertson heard it directly from God and channeled the message to George.)

Gee, I hope no one in the Administration sees this. Maybe I should add a disclaimer:

• I'M JOKING! I DON'T REALLY WANT US TO INVADE VENEZUELA! IT'S A BAD IDEA, NOT A GOOD IDEA. BAD! SIT! STAY!