I Love Crackers

"Hey, Cracker!" That's what you hear homeys call white folks back in the 'hood. 'Places like Nebraska and such.
But it doesn't bother me. Ya know why? Because I love crackers!
Right now, I'm devouring a whole stack of saltines. But more than saltines, I love cheeeeeeese crackers. Now, some of you may wonder which is better, Cheese-Its or Cheese Nips. Well, I'm here to tell you, "Who cares?! They're both great!" I mean, it's not like anybody makes their own cheese crackers, so ANY brand is better than none! Right? Right!
Speaking of crackers, I am reminded of my college days - brief though they may have been - when my three roommates and I would share a box of saltines and a gallon of milk. Funds were, shall we say, sparse. So we pooled our money to buy a box of saltines and a gallon of milk. Each of us had our own quart jar ready to receive the bounty. When the crackers and milk had been procured, we each took one package of crackers from the 4-pack and crumbled them into our quart-size jars. Then, we tried to divide the gallon of milk into four equal portions by pouring limited amounts into every one's jar over and over until the gallon jug was empty. In a few seconds, the crackers and milk became four more-or-less equal quarts of delicious mush! GOD, it was good!
I suppose I should confess that I've had a "thing" for crackers ever since. Store brand or name brand, they're all good. I should know, I've tried them all. And while they all may be crumby, none is crummy.