Forget Venezuela

Okay, so maybe invading Venezuela would be counter-productive.
Fortunately, I have an even better idea: Let's go back to horses and buggies!
Yippee ki yi yo, buckaroo!
It's really not a bad idea if you consider the following:

• Horses are more efficient people movers. Most cars are occupied by one person, but TWO horses will fit in the space of one car. Therefore, twice as many people can commute in the same amount of space!
• Horses don't have to stay on streets or bridges! They can prance across yards, parking lots, cemetaries, and wade across streams!
• Horses are faster. Horses gallop at about 25 mph. "Rush hour" traffic moves at about 0 mph.
• Horses are convenient. In most communities, grocery stores, pharmacies, libraries, porn shops, and liquor stores are within easy riding distance for even the most decrepit nag.
• Horses are nearly 100% recyclable. Glue, dog food, violin bows, Republicans.
• Horses are exciting. Who hasn't dreamed of riding through the neighborhood on a fiery steed with six-guns blazing shouting "Come out and fight like a man, ya yeller cur of a dog-faced rhinoceros!"
• Kids love horses. Kids hate car seats.
• Horses are economical. A few oats, a hank o' hay, and water versus $5.00/gallon gas.

The way I see it, there's only one problem - theft. No way in hell am I going to leave a $500 saddle strapped to $1,000 horse tied up in front of my neighborhood saloon! Why, the saddle would be gone before I got my first beer! Then, the horse would be stolen and stripped for parts by the time I finished it.
Surely a forward-looking entrepreneur can see the potential in security devices for horses and rise to the occasion.
Even I can envision a "saddle saver" cable strung between the stirrups and secured with a padlock dangling beneath the horse's belly. Or how about motion-sensitive hobbles that trigger a 1,000 watt, ear splitting alarm - discreetly hidden 'neath Dobbbin's tail? Gosh, the opportunities are endless!
"Oil? We don't need no stinking oil! Hi yo Silver... away!"