BORDERMAN

I have a calling. It came to me today as I was escorting visitors around Peace Arch Park at the U.S./Canadian border. There is a lot of history surrounding Peace Arch Park and both countries have done a good job of making the park a beautiful place to spend an hour or two.

What the park lacks, is someone to explain the history, identify the variety of plantings, and direct visitors to the restrooms.

That sounds like a job for my alter-ego, BORDERMAN! Dressed in a cape that is 1/2 Old Glory and 1/2 Maple Leaf and wearing a mask (to protect my true identity), I see myself dashing about the park answering questions, entertaining small children, and spreading goodwill among men.

I might even break out in song now and then: "Oh Canada, my country tis of thee, sweet land of maple leaves, of thee I sing".

Neither rain, nor sleet, nor... Wait a minute! I'm NOT going to run around in the rain and the sleet dressed up like BORDERMAN, singing compilation tunes. That's just silly.

Forget I even brought it up.