2,006 or 20-0-6?

At the beginning of "CBS Sunday Morning"every...uh, Sunday morning, Charles Osgood introduces the news segment with the day's date. Today, for example, he said, "April 30th, Twenty-o-six."
I say, "Two thousand, six."
"Twenty-o-six" sounds awkward to me.
Since there are 94 years left in this century, I think we should settle on one way of stating what year it is!
Clearly, people who say "Two thousand, six" are enlightened and should rule the world.
People who say "twenty-o-six" are obstructionists! They insist on using 20th-century thinking when identifying 21st-century events. How gauche can one get?!
If the obstructionists refuse to adapt, they should be rounded up and put on reservations where no one cares what they say. That's the American way!... isn't it?

Slow down, Spring!

April is almost over already! Where did it go?!
I love Spring. We're finally seeing as many sunny days as cloudy ones! The air is sweet, the grass is green, the tulips and lilacs and rhodies are blooming, the boids are choipin'... Do you know the one about the boids?

Shortly after lad from New Jersey transfered to a school in Nebraska, the teacher asked him to tell the class a little about himself. The boy stood up and began, "Well, I'm from New Joisey, where da boids choip.." The teacher interrupted him and said, "No no no, they're BIRDS, not BOIDS." The boy replied, "Really? Dey sure choip like boids!"

I took my cup of coffee outside for a few minutes earlier this morning. There were four small swallows darting around above the front yard. At first, I thought they might be catching insects, but then I came to realize that they were just chasing each other! A couple of times, they even flew under the porch overhang, within a few feet of where I was standing.
There could be many reasons why they were behaving in such a way: One pair may have been chasing off another pair, three males may have been pursuing one female, three hungry birds may have been following one with food in its mouth.
I like to think that they were just having fun in the morning sun.
Swallows are amazing fliers. They look like miniature jet fighters with their swept-back wings and soaring aerobatic maneuvers.
After about 10 minutes, the air show ended. They all swooped up and landed in a row on the edge of the roof for a few minutes of preening, chattering, and re-energizing. That's where I left them.
I wish I could join them.

Forget Venezuela

Okay, so maybe invading Venezuela would be counter-productive.
Fortunately, I have an even better idea: Let's go back to horses and buggies!
Yippee ki yi yo, buckaroo!
It's really not a bad idea if you consider the following:

• Horses are more efficient people movers. Most cars are occupied by one person, but TWO horses will fit in the space of one car. Therefore, twice as many people can commute in the same amount of space!
• Horses don't have to stay on streets or bridges! They can prance across yards, parking lots, cemetaries, and wade across streams!
• Horses are faster. Horses gallop at about 25 mph. "Rush hour" traffic moves at about 0 mph.
• Horses are convenient. In most communities, grocery stores, pharmacies, libraries, porn shops, and liquor stores are within easy riding distance for even the most decrepit nag.
• Horses are nearly 100% recyclable. Glue, dog food, violin bows, Republicans.
• Horses are exciting. Who hasn't dreamed of riding through the neighborhood on a fiery steed with six-guns blazing shouting "Come out and fight like a man, ya yeller cur of a dog-faced rhinoceros!"
• Kids love horses. Kids hate car seats.
• Horses are economical. A few oats, a hank o' hay, and water versus $5.00/gallon gas.

The way I see it, there's only one problem - theft. No way in hell am I going to leave a $500 saddle strapped to $1,000 horse tied up in front of my neighborhood saloon! Why, the saddle would be gone before I got my first beer! Then, the horse would be stolen and stripped for parts by the time I finished it.
Surely a forward-looking entrepreneur can see the potential in security devices for horses and rise to the occasion.
Even I can envision a "saddle saver" cable strung between the stirrups and secured with a padlock dangling beneath the horse's belly. Or how about motion-sensitive hobbles that trigger a 1,000 watt, ear splitting alarm - discreetly hidden 'neath Dobbbin's tail? Gosh, the opportunities are endless!
"Oil? We don't need no stinking oil! Hi yo Silver... away!"

ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS!!

I have a solution to high oil prices: Let's invade Venezuela.

• Venezuela is the 3rd largest supplier to the U.S. but their president, Hugo Chavez, doesn't like us very much. (That means he's an evil dictator who shelters terrorists and plans to develop WMD's for a preemptive strike against Israel, or Galveston)
• Venezuelans are paying only 12 cents a gallon for their gasoline. (Is that fair?... I don't THINK so!)
• It's closer than Iran. (Convenient!)
• They don't need the oil as much as we do. (They're poor and they live where it's always warm!)
• God wants us to establish a "foothold for democracy" in South America. (Pat Robertson heard it directly from God and channeled the message to George.)

Gee, I hope no one in the Administration sees this. Maybe I should add a disclaimer:

• I'M JOKING! I DON'T REALLY WANT US TO INVADE VENEZUELA! IT'S A BAD IDEA, NOT A GOOD IDEA. BAD! SIT! STAY!

Where it stops, nobody knows

We have one grocery store in our little town. Unfortunately, it's over-priced, poorly stocked, and ineptly managed.
Overcharges are so common that I've pretty much given up on reporting anything less than 5 cents. The $5.00+ overcharges are something else again!
Every time I report an overcharge to the manager, he is very apologetic, gives me a full refund, and promises to speak with the individual responsible for ensuring, "the price at the register matches the price on the shelf". Pfft!
I've tried to monitor the prices at checkout but it's impossible. The scanning process is just too fast. I usually wait until I'm in the parking lot to review the sales slip for accuracy. (Gee, I remember when prices were attached to each item and the checkers would say the prices out loud as they entered each one into the cash register. Maybe it was a little slower, but it was much easier to catch errors.)
One day I noticed a sale tag on an item that was HIGHER than the shelf price. When I brought it to the manager's attention, he looked closely at the shelf price label and said, "The shelf price was put there in 2004! There's no way that's still accurate." So... customers are supposed to read the really really fine print on the shelf price label, find what year it was posted, and guess whether or not it's still accurate?!! Give me a break!
I placed a call to the regional manager yesterday. His secretary told me he would call me back. I'm still waiting.
A long term resident told me yesterday that I shouldn't get my hopes up. He thinks the parent company pulled a shady deal with our city council when they came to town which effectively prevents any other grocery stores from opening within city limits. Consequently, they don't care if we like the service we're getting or not. They are the only game in town!
So, at this point, my choices are these: 1.) Continue shopping locally and keep complaining to the manager. 2.) Drive 12 miles down the highway to the next town and shop there. 3.) File a complaint with the state Attorney General's office.
Considering the cost of gasoline, option #2 is out. I've tried option #1 long enough without results. That leaves option #3. Heh heh heh.
Fasten your seatbelts.

Sam Rides Again!

My favorite editorialist, Sam Hurst, is at it again in today's Rapid City Journal. Enjoy!

Two weeks ago George McGovern spoke to the Rapid City Public Library Foundation. The old war horse of the South Dakota Democratic Party is a proud, unapologetic voice of American liberalism - a blend of the social gospel and New Deal activism. In these times when selfishness and greed are gospel, McGovern's interest in social justice and opportunity seems outdated and nostalgic. He's not much of a "me first" kind of guy.
McGovern's presentation focused on his life-long interest in the problem of world hunger. His most recent book, "The Third Freedom," takes its title from Franklin Roosevelt's famous "Four Freedoms" speech (the third freedom being freedom from want). It is a reflection of George McGovern's indomitable idealism that he still believes, after a lifetime of disappointment, that it is possible to end world hunger, and it is the responsibility of American citizens to try.
So I'm listening, and he's talking, and I'm listening, and he's talking, and something isn't right. He keeps talking about how he and Bob Dole (former Kansas senator, former GOP presidential candidate) are working together to provide school lunches in poor third world countries. And I think to myself, "Wait just a minute ...! Bob Dole?"
The relationship rolls off McGovern's tongue like it's as natural as peanut butter and jelly. A conservative Republican and a liberal Democratic working together for a better world? Who do they think they are?
What kind of experience could possibly make these two old men rise above the cheap and easy partisanship that smothers Washington these days? Could it be the shared experience of war?
The Bush administration plays at war like they are little boys in the backyard, full of bluster and costume and tough talk. George McGovern and Bob Dole put their own lives on the line. There's a world of difference.
They could disagree with each other about taxes, fight each other bitterly about government waste, or welfare, or policies to protect the environment. But they never doubted each other's patriotism, and there was a subtle generosity about the way they dealt with each other, born of the intimate knowledge that each had served the nation. The shared experience of war has given them more in common than all the partisan fights can tear apart. How different our world is today.
I remember like it was yesterday the week that followed the attack on the World Trade Center. Towers aflame, firefighters silhouetted against the smoke, the nation collectively holding our breath, waiting for leadership ... waiting to be called to a national purpose. President Bush told us to go out and shop. Those terrorists won't break our spirit. We'll take a sacred oath ... "Shop till we drop."
That's it? That's all I can do? No savings bonds? No gasoline rationing? No cancellation of tax breaks for the rich so we can spend the money on body armor for our soldiers in the street and medical care for the wounded? No sacrifice?
There we were, marching off to fight the War on Terror, but it was somebody else's job to fight it, not just in the Army, but in every corner of society ... it was someone else's problem.
How do we restore the idea of service? How do we make young people believe that it is noble, and valuable, and, yes, essential, that they serve the nation? How do we escape the trap that citizenship is a free ride? The hysterical aftermath of Vietnam is long gone. It is time for young Americans to learn, again, how to serve, and boot camp won't be at the mall.
The best thing that could happen to American high school graduates is to leave the comfort of home, move to the other end of the nation and serve: be teachers' aides, be soldiers, fight fires in western forests, serve soup to the terrified victims of hurricanes, dig wells in the Sudan, treat the victims of cholera in Cambodia. Don't just spread democracy at the end of a gun ... be a citizen, and show the world what it means to be a citizen in a democracy.
You're a black gang-banger in south central Los Angeles? You're assigned to clean bedpans at a hospital in Alabama. At night you can study Arabic. You're a cowboy from Harding County? Welcome to a poor public school in Boston. You'll be teaching reading to seven-year-olds. You're a rich Republican from New York, on your way to the Ivy League? Welcome to the Army. You're a conservative Democrat from Ohio who thinks all illegal immigrants ought to be deported? Welcome to the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation ... they've got a thing or two to tell you about how illegal immigrants don't belong.
It is easy to pass judgment on others from the isolated comfort of class and race, region and faith, but the challenge of America is to reach out beyond our isolated comfort and see our nation through the eyes of others.
There are a thousand problems with the idea of a national service program for American youth. But the biggest may be that none of our leaders have the imagination to even consider it. It's so much easier just to tell every one to go shopping.
But if I were running for president next year, I'd get George McGovern and Bob Dole on the phone and ask them to look into it.

Personally, I don't blame young people for not wanting to associate themselves with anything remotely linked to government in this country. The leadership is not worth emulating and certainly not inspiring. The message from the top is this: "Self-sacrifice is out. Self-service is in." Why should an upstanding young person want to be identified with ANY incompetent, corrupt, mis-managed government-sponsored program these days?

Kids

Kids! I don't know what's wrong with these kids today.
Kids! I don't understand anything they say.
Kids! They're disobedient, disprespectful oafs!
Noisy, lazy, sloopy, crazy, loafers! And while we're on the subject...
Kids! You can talk and talk 'til your face is blue.
Kids! But they still do just what they want to do!
Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?!!

Okay, maybe it's not just today's kids. You see, these lyrics were written for the Broadway musical Bye Bye Birdie which was the hit of the 1959-60 Broadway season!

Nonetheless, the question is more pertinent now than ever before: What IS wrong with these kids today?!! Sheesh!

Gasunami

I heard a news report recently about the rising cost of gasoline that surprised me.

The reporter said, "if gasoline prices hover around $3.00/gallon this summer, it will add about $50.00 to the cost of your vacation."

Just fifty bucks? How far does he think people drive on vacation, 50 miles?! That didn't sound nearly high enough. Surely the cost increase will be in triple-digits. Rising gas prices are the equivalent of an economic tsunami!!

I decided to figure it out for myself.

First, I calculated gasoline expenses for $2.00/gallon gas, to/from a vacation destination 500 miles from home, in a vehicle averaging 20 mpg. (1,000 miles @ 20 mpg = 50 gallons @ $2.00/gallon = $100)

Then, I made the same calculations using $3.00/gallon gas. ( 50 gallons @ $3.00/gallon = $150)

Fifty bucks more.

Fifty dollars is certainly more than chump change, but I don't think it's a vacation-canceling amount. Some folks may simply decide to shorten their stay by one day to compensate for the cost of gas.

Maybe that's why hotels/motels decided to raise rates by 6% this year.

Regardless, I'm mad as hell that this country has failed to develop a viable alternative to fossil fuels.

There are viable alternatives.

Brazil has proven that.

Tecumseh's Curse

There's a legend called "Tecumseh's Curse" that supposedly foretells the death, while in office, of any president elected during years ending in zero. Chief Tecumseh was killed by soldiers under W. H. Harrison's command in 1813. An 1836 play had Tecumseh cursing the white man as he lay dying on the battlefield. There's no evidence that Tecumseh actually cursed Harrison, or anyone else, but the whole thing is pretty spooky just the same.

Here's the grim roll call:

• Harrison, elected in 1840, died of pneumonia after serving 31 days.
• Lincoln, elected in 1860, assassinated.
• Garfield, elected in 1880, assassinated.
• McKinley, elected to a second term in 1900, assassinated.
• Harding, elected in 1920, died of a stroke in 1923.
• Roosevelt, elected to a third term in 1940, died of a cerebral hemorrhage in 1945.
• Kennedy, elected in 1960, assassinated.

Reagan, elected in 1980, was shot in an assassination attempt.

Bush, elected in 2000, well... we know he's brain dead. Does that count?

Thanks, J.C.

No, this is not about THAT J.C.

I got a $15 off Birthday coupon from J.C. Penney the other day. Gee, I wonder what I should buy with it?

Wait a minute! On the back of the coupon are certain "exclusions" that J.C. wants me to know about.

Let's see, I can use this coupon for ANYTHING, except jewelry, cosmetics, fragrances, cookware, cutlery, gadgets, floor care, furniture, mattresses, personal care appliances, small appliances, electronics, Clarks, Columbia, Easy Spirit, Hunter Douglas, Levi's, Nike, catalog/internet and outlet stores, salon products, services, or gift cards.

Hmmm. I guess I won't be using it to buy that bejeweled-electric-scented-copper bottom- Nike bedroom set with built-in knife sharpener and carving set I've been wanting. Dang it. Maybe next year!

While I'm At It...

Okay, I started ranting about Doctors yesterday. Then, purely by accident, I came across this MSN News article about hospitals. Please read it for yourself:

American hospitals are fleecing patients out of billions of dollars annually, and experts say that while some of the overcharges are honest errors, many are deliberate. That's because hospital bills are next to impossible for consumers to understand, which means hospitals can hide improper charges behind mysterious medical terminology and baffling codes.
That's what Nora Johnson found when her 56-year-old husband, Bill, underwent hip-replacement surgery in 1999. The cost of the operation was $25,000. Knowing that her family would have to pay a percentage of the costs, she requested an itemized bill.
"What I got was five feet of single-spaced names and codes," recalls Johnson. Written in "hospital-speak," some of it made sense, she says, while some of it was absurd. "Like the charge for newborn blood tests and a crib mobile. That stopped me in my tracks," recalls Johnson. "As far as I know, my husband never had a baby."
Johnson, from Caldwell, W.Va., was so shocked by the overcharges she became a trained medical billing advocate. Today, she audits hospital bills for consumers and for state employees in West Virginia.
"More than 90% of the hospital bills I've audited have gross overcharges," says Johnson. Estimates on hospital overcharges run up to $10 billion a year, with an average of $1,300 per hospital stay. Other experts say overcharges make up approximately 5% of hospital bills. "I've seen $90 charged for a 70-cent I.V. How about $129 for a mucous recovery system? That's a box of Kleenex," Johnson adds.
She's also seen charges for ordinary supplies, such as towels and sheets, that should be included in the room charges.
Johnson says some overcharges are mistakes, but many are deliberate. "Hospitals are huge moneymakers," she explains. "Their executives enjoy big bonuses." As a result, "Hospitals have become highly innovative when it comes to billing, and ordinary citizens have no idea they're being ripped off," says Johnson, who is affiliated with Salem, Va.-based Medical Billing Advocates of America.
But making sure that you are charged correctly can be a daunting task. That's what Richard Clarke found out firsthand shortly after his father died in 2000.
Despite the fact that he is a former hospital chief financial officer, Clarke admits, sorting through the bills took him a year. In the end he found $2,000 in errors.
That's because bills from just one hospital stay will come pouring in, and they come from many providers: Your surgeon, anesthesiologist, pathologist, labs, as well as the hospital.
Bill Mahon is executive director of the National Health Care Anti-Fraud Association, a group of insurers and law enforcement officials in Washington, D.C. He says patients are helpless to decipher their bills. As a result, says Mahon, providers can slip in overcharges.
"The medical billing system is complicated and confusing," admits Rick H. Wade, senior vice president of the American Hospital Association, which represents most of the hospitals in the United States. On Dec. 27, 2002, he told a "Dateline NBC" investigative team, "Trying to understand all the code words and jargon can turn your brain into oatmeal."
Hospitals discourage consumers from checking bills. Because health insurance plans have different contracts with differing payment schedules, there is no single rate sheet you can consult. Nevertheless, experts say reviewing your bill for overcharges is vital. For one thing, if you are required to pay some of your hospital expenses, either as a deductible or a co-payment, overcharges will come out of your pocket. What's more, most insurance plans have a cap, meaning, "Money siphoned off by errors or fraud can chip away at your lifetime total," says Tom Brennan, Blue Cross/Blue Shield's director of special investigations.
Your credit rating may be at risk too. "Hospitals have become very aggressive about collecting money," says Nora Johnson. And, according to a 1998 study of hospital billing procedures, they go to extraordinary lengths to discourage patients from delving too deeply into their bills. "Citizens are becoming more educated about hospital billing and taking responsibility of ensuring that their charges are correct," said the study's principal author, Dr. Kimberly Elsbach, of the University of California, Davis. "Hospitals are countering that with their own efforts to discourage people from becoming involved with challenges or audits because it costs them a great deal of time and money." And they waste no time turning accounts over to collection agencies or filing liens.

If your incompetent Doctor isn't enough to worry about. Now, you can expect to be ripped of by your hospital as well!

Are nurses the only REAL care-givers left on the planet?!!

Don't Get Sick, But If You Do...

Okay, it's rant time.

I've grown increasingly skeptical about Doctors over the last 5-10 years. I'm to the point now where I put most Doctors on the same moral platform as used car salesmen and shyster lawyers.

I believe physicians see patients as cash cows first, ready to be milked by every deceptive, unscrupulous, unethical, imaginative way possible. Then, if they happen to actually help someone now and then, well, it's good for business.

Most amazingly, as a group, they are incompetent! Look at this:

• The Institute of Medicine, an arm of the National Academy of Sciences, estimates that as many as 98,000 U.S. patients die annually from preventable medical errors.

Reword that last sentence: 98,000 people are KILLED annually by preventable medical errors!! That's equal to the entire population of a medium-size city!

Can you name one physician who was prosecuted for killing any of those 98,000 people last year? I can't.

Imagine if air traffic controllers killed 98,000 people every year in preventable mid-air collisions. Would you fly?

That's why I say, "Don't get sick. But if you do, don't go to the Doctor. But if you do, be afraid, be very afraid."

Uninspired, 4 Days & Counting

I've been back home for 4 days and I STILL can't think of anything I want to write about! What's with that? Did I leave my inspiration muse in Arizona? In the past, I've sometimes found inspiration by starting to write about one thing that jump-started another. Is it obvious that I'm doing it right now?

I could write about the trip, but I'm not going to unless someone specifically asks me to. I already emailed a trip report to everyone I know who reads this blog anyway.

I don't want to rant. Although there are plenty of things I feel like ranting about.

Today is Easter Sunday. Here are the two things I remember from 62 Easter Sundays: Once, when I was about 6 years old, my mom asked me if I'd brushed my teeth before going to church. Jokingly, she had me stand next to our white porcelain stove and give her a big smile so she could compare the whiteness of my teeth with the porcelain. Secondly, years later when I was in High School, we all got up early to attend an outdoor Easter sunrise service. It was cold and cloudy. So cold that you could see your breath and so cloudy that we couldn't see the sunrise. The service started promptly at 6:00 AM anyway. I'm sure the pastor had visions of being cloaked in rays of morning sun as he read the ressurection scriptures and we'd all get tears in our eyes as we sang, "When morning gilds the skies, my heart awaking cries, may Jesus Christ be praised." It didn't happen. By the time the service was over I felt more like a survivor than a believer.

Here's some good news/bad news: Good news - I bought a lawn edger! Bad news - I may not get to use it until August! The instructions say, DO NOT use when the ground is wet because the housing will clog up with mud and wear out the motor. Bummer.

Oh! Here's something you might enjoy: We visited several gift shops during our visit to AZ. Each had its own supply of cheesy signs and bumper stickers. Some of the shops had warnings posted that read, DO NOT TAKE PHOTOS. I guess they were afraid people would copy their "artwork" when they got home. Nonetheless, some of the signs were pretty funny. For instance, "Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?" was funny, and "Before you criticise another, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you'll be a mile away and you'll have his shoes!" put an irreverent twist on the old admonishment. I've forgotten the others. I KNEW I should have written them down. Dang it!! 'Guess I'll have to go back sometime and read them aloud to myself (into a concealed tape recorder). Heh heh heh.

To Whom It May Concern

I'm going to be out of the office for a week. 'Talk to you again on the 11th or 12th.
In the meantime,
Vaya con perro

Dear Hollywood

Dear Hollywood,

Look carefully at the list below. See if you can guess what kind of movies most audiences prefer? Here's a hint: $70.5 million is a LOT MORE than $3.2 million.

Top 10 box office for Mar. 31- Apr. 2
This Week

Title

1
Ice Age: The MeltdownWeekend gross: $70.5 M
2
Inside Man Weekend gross: $15.7 M
3
ATLWeekend gross: $12.5 M
4
Failure to LaunchWeekend gross: $6.6 M
5
V for VendettaWeekend gross: $6.5 M
6
Stay Alive Weekend gross: $4.58 M
7
She's the ManWeekend gross: $4.57 M
8
SlitherWeekend gross: 3.7 M
9
The Shaggy DogWeekend gross: $3.5 M
10 (tie)
Basic Instinct 2Weekend gross: $3.2 M
10 (tie)
Larry the Cable Guy: Health InspectorWeekend gross: $3.2 M

One Day in April

When I was a senior in high school, I played guitar and made up songs... just like about half the guys my age at the time. Folk music was popular, so playing guitar and singing folk songs was a way to make friends and influence people, mainly girls.
A couple of the songs I made up were pretty good, but one seemed to be especially popular. It was called "I Caught My Finger In The Wringer of Your Heart".
The father of my friend, Frankie, was a successful local businessman. I guess he thought there might be money to be made off a kid like me so he offered to finance a recording session. Wow! The only problem was that the nearest recording studio was in Denver, Colorado. That was an 8 hour bus ride from my home town. I couldn't just drop out of school for a few days to go make a recording in Denver! We decided to set up the studio session over spring break. Eventually, April rolled around and with it came spring break. I was on my way to Big "D" at last!
I got to the recording studio about 30 minutes early and was directed to "the first door on the left". I walked inside and sat down to watch what was going on behind the plate glass window that separated me from the control room. Beyond the control room, I could see through another window into the actual recording studio. Guess who was in there making a recording! It was Pat Boone! Wow (again)! I couldn't hear what he was singing through all those walls and windows, but, judging by the looks on everyone's faces, they weren't too happy about how the session was going. Pat looked real upset as he took off the headphones and stormed out of the studio and into the control room. I could barely make out the gist of his conversation with his manager. He was complaining that the song he was given to sing was just no good and he didn't want his name associated with a stupid song like that one. Sheesh!
Pretty soon, Pat and his group started putting their things together and were getting ready to leave. That's when one of the guys in the control room called me in and told me to set up in the recording studio.
I was nervous as all get out! Pat Boone was in the control room! If he didn't leave soon, he'd hear my squeaky voice singing "I Caught My Finger In The Wringer of Your Heart".
Before I knew it, a voice form the control room came through the speaker. It said,"Quiet in Studio A for take one". Frantically, I searched through the control room window to find who was talking! I found him just in time. He was off to one side, looking directly at me. He had headphones on and he was holding up 5 fingers, then 4, then, 3,2,1...
I started strumming and singing! My mind was racing! Thank goodness I had the song so well memorized. Otherwise I'm sure I would have forgotten every note. After I strummed the final chord I flopped down on a stool, exhausted.
I didn't know what to expect next, but what happened next really surprised me: Pat Boone walked into the studio and asked if he could record my song! "Wha'?! You want to record, I Caught My Finger In The Ringer of Your Heart, mister Boone?" Pat said, "That's right, but if you don't mind, I'd like to change the name to "April Love". Well, the rest, as they say, is history. I never made it as a recording artist but I'll never forget that April day so long ago. In fact, I think it was THIS VERY SAME April day when I crossed paths with the great Pat Boone.